If you don’t suffer from a mental illness, it’s really hard to wrap your head around this. It just doesn’t seem to make sense. But as was explained to me, it makes perfect sense to a BPD. The person is numb. They don’t feel anything, or sometimes the pain is unbearable in their mind. And so they transfer the pain to the physical. And either it awakens them from their dullness or it transfers the pain from the mind to the body. Either way, it makes them feel better.
After several months of slipping into a deep depression, I walked by her in the kitchen alcove one day sitting at a desk. The long sleeves of the robe (at 5 o’clock in the evening) rode up her arms. And there is could see it. Later I would weirdly throw out the phrase: she’s a cutter. The lines were sharp and still wet with blood. Too many to count. All on the underside of the forearm, from the wrist to the elbow. Both arms. It was in that shocking moment that I realized there was more to this than I could fully comprehend. Why would someone do this to themselves?
Later I learned all about self-harm and how rpevalent it is and all the different forms it takes. This is one of the very sinister sides of BPD and is not for the feint of heart. Cutting or other forms of self-harm is a cry for help and a sign that the person needs professional help immediately. This is way beyond our abilities.